Today my 4 year old taught me something. Sometimes we look around and the world is scary. In life we hold on tightly to things that bring us comfort... but only can we live and grow and become what God intended when we "let go" of our ropes. We explore new ways to live and try new things. It's so much easier and less scary "clinging"' to what we know will always support us and keep us safe but through the eyes of a 4 year old that's not what God intended we do. He wants us to challenge ourselves and to not take the easiest avenue. Sometimes we do it to ourselves, but sometimes we let others keep us cushioned. In the end "we" all as "individuals" have choices to make...so like my 4 year old I too have been braving the world from a new vantage point for the past few weeks. The perspective certainly changes when one learns to just let go.
I cling to things. I don't like change or giving up... but I have felt as if I have had my hands on a rope that someone has been stepping on my fingers and prying them loose one finger at a time in slow motion for months maybe even years. My hands hurt from the hold. Sometimes in order for others to change they have to see you changing, or you have to change things so they can see reality. The saying you don't know what you have until it's gone...is so true, not just for me but for you too. Sometimes the new light reveals layers you never wanted to see. I see clearly now as I breathe deeply and sigh. It's a relief. I at 40 know what I want "in" my life and "for" my life- and "for" my children. I once thought I had that but I was wrong. Days grow shorter as I grow older and my days are limited. I want to open my life to new possibilities, and have people in it that are on the same page as I am or at least share the same vision or destination in life. That place may never be attainable but it's the getting there that makes life "living"... I haven't been living, I have been waiting. I'm too old and tired to wait any more. I don't want to watch life pass me by I want to live life. I want to hike and laugh and love and be loved. I want so many voids to be filled.
I want a lot of things...and in order to achieve them I have to stop waiting and start living....with or without what I thought I needed for my journey. Nothings perfect, timing isn't, places, jobs, ages, ...if we do not cease moments even if we aren't sure footed those moments will pass and they will be gone forever. I don't want to miss out on my life anymore- I want to make my life happen. I'm the only one that can do that- so..."pivot, spin...let my life begin."-stacie hadley. Spring is about renewal... and this spring will certainly be one for me to remember. This year is the year of Stacie. This year I will participate and I will bloom and I will be as beautiful as I can be this year for next year a little of me ages, and dies... and becomes a little less beautiful than the year before on the outside. But my inside will forever be growing, and aspiring to be all that God intended I become. I have such great boys and they deserve more than just me in their life. They have no papa and their mamama hasn't time for us...it's up to me to place people in their life to love them and right now they just are not getting what they deserve and neither am I. So until the 4.1 version of Stacie updates- the 4.0 version will work hard to make the next version that much better.
It's not just people in life it's experiences and sharing life with others. LEt's face it at the end of a day if we have nobody to call or nobody to turn to in the same room life just isn't as exciting. We all need people- to share life with. Life is often lonely and unfulfilling but it doesn't have to be. I want things for myself and for those I care about- but there comes a time when it's every man for themselves. I can guide and steer and wish and hope and dream and desire all day long and talk about God and what's morally right until I'm blue in the face but it still doesn't mean people will comprehend the rights and wrongs. So many need to place burden or blame on their lack of fame, but what it boils down to is their own actions, reactions or lack there of and they alone are in charge of others perceptions.
John Lennon once said, so precisely ," Life is what HAPPENS when you are 'busy' making OTHER plans". Take heed. The time has come for me to "live" life. I pray that God will guide me and keep me on my path because I'm tired of looking behind me and tired of frowning down and just want to look up and straight ahead because that's where my future lives and I want to participate in it. My calluses from holding on too tightly to those ropes will heal. Nothing is certain or exact in life...except holding your one comforting position of safety and even that will leave your hands scarred over time. It's time for me to let go, live and let live...my hope is that you too can set yourself free and join me. Life is for living, let go.
10 comments:
i think that was well said. calluses are a good thing when they help us hold onto something positive. but sometimes it's time to let go & start something new. make some new blisters. the pain won't last & the benefit can be tremendous. =)
happy birthday, again.
I agree! you are a fascinating person and it takes someone special to even recognize those differences. Letting go is a part of life that brings uncertainty and not everyone is wired to see it through to the other side. Thanks for sharing that Stacie!
Don't forget to not always blame "others" for what they won't do for you or why they aren't there for you. Sometimes YOU are the problem. All too often people don't or WON'T look at themselves critically & question what THEY could've done better in order to not be where they are today.
True Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous but those who actually take the time to criticize usually have plenty of faults themselves. Look, no one is without fault but taking the time to troll someones blog only to stick a finger in someone's eye isn't showing their good side. I suspect that's why you decide to remain anonymous instead of being a real person.
I don't know you at all and I don't care to know you but whatever grievance you have against Stacie you should just keep to yourself or spend your time perusing other sites on the internet where like-minded critics abound. What you decided to do was actually more critical and childish than anything you are accusing the author of. I have plenty of faults myself and I'm sure you do as well but this is not the forum to air your stupid pettiness.I hope that you DO have a good day and learn to be more polite. It starts with you and your response. We all witness people making bad choices and unintentional mistakes but it's how you respond that shows YOUR true colors.
I doubt what Anonymous said was directed specifically at anyone. Actually Anonymous is right. Sometimes we are the problem even down to the point of allowing ourselves to be mistreated over and over or falling into the pity trap. I've been there myself. In anything that we go through good or bad we have a role in it.
Or am I missing comments?
I just wanted to Clarify that Anonymous was not ME... IT WAS NOT ME....
Wow. Sensitive about that issue are we Favian? First, I was "anonymous" because I didn't know what "name/URL" meant exactly. Second my comment was NOT directed at anyone, least of all Stacie as I don't even know her. NOR was I being petty, criticizing or saying I'm perfect. I was simply stating the fact that all too often people refuse to look inward at themselves & simply choose to blame others for all of their problems & issues. To learn NOT to do that is to GROW which is what I THINK Stacie is going for here. Maybe think things through before you attack. Thank you Vicki.
Thank you Lisa do you have a blog
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