Unplugged

Sometimes in life it's necessary to simply...unplug. We get so wrapped up in the virtual realm we forget how life was before the internet. The internet can be a very useful tool and aid. It's fantastic for communication and currently my only recent source of a telephone, but yes even that is going to be...unplugged. I need time to reflect on the things that truly matter in my short life here on earth. I desire to use my time here spent with those who will appreciate me and all that I am and WHo I am, rather than who I'm not.

I want to spend my life with tangible people, it's not fun cuddling up in bed w/a laptop night after night. I know what I want in my life, for my life, for my children and even though my ideal life isn't a reality doesn't mean I can't work towards making it one. It may not be with the person I'd hope for it to be with...but nonetheless in finding God he will find me. I don't want much in life, expectations of another that is. I want what we ALL want. Acceptance from family and friends... A FAMILY and FRIENDS, a MATE... a VERY best friend to share nothing and everything with and I will have all those things... but for now I am taking some time away from the virtual world and stepping back into the old school way of doing things. Snail mail, knocking on real doors, poking real people(okay really nobody does that in real life, perhaps it should have been nudge and not poke on FB because that's more real but again FB is not a REAL life it's a tool in communicating with others to establish or maintain Reality.) So...having ample self control and knowing what I want for my life...I must unplug the fake one.

 It's much easier for me to hide away here, than face the world head on. In the real world I'm judged and ostracized and scrutinized but apparently in the virtual realm it happens there too- at least I will be able to see the faces of those who do it to me. I honestly am very hurt right now that holding grudges, having pride, being controlling and partaking in activities that aren't good for Christians are more important to some proclaimed Christians. Everyone has their own opinions and views and you will ALWAYS find people to take your side, but it still doesn't always make it right just because they agree.Really it's just excuses...it's much easier to make up an excuse and turn the table on some one than facing one's own reality.

Life is what we make it and we shouldn't waste time doing things that don't really matter or make us happy- if you REALLY want something in life you have to go for it and not whine about not having it. Yeah, aspies have a harder time making friends or having a relationship but it CAN be achieved if there is a WILL to do so. If you say you wish things weren't a certain way, well change them. If you really wish your life was different stop saying it and do something about it- I know I am and have been for sometime and part of the process I need for myself is to step back, reflect and unplug.

It's 20 days until Christmas I wonder if I will get what I really want this year, what I need... remains to be seen...as for now my scene is changing...out of the virtual world and into the desolate real one.

3...2...1...done.